wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
