I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
