Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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