im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
