Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
