I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
