Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
There's even glitter on my cock...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
