in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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