i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
