Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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