But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
