Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
