How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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