I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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