We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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