You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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