Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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