its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
