I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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