he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize