How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
