We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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