Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
