She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
