we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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