Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
