i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
