i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I forget how to act sober
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