this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
