I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
