After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
