how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
