god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
