One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
