last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize