Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
