Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
