A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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