the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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