worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
