he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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