And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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