I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
