she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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