i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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