So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
