nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
