Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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