I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
