I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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