just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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