How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He passed out mid-signature
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
