why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
