Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Boobs are out for the taking
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
