Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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