"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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