He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
