hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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