I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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